


Enough

by amutemockingjay



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Bullying, Depression, Eliza is too good for this world, F/F, Gender bent King George and Samuel Seabury, Homophobia, Mental Health Issues, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-23
Updated: 2016-11-23
Packaged: 2018-09-01 18:49:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8634007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amutemockingjay/pseuds/amutemockingjay
Summary: There were few things Eliza hated more than getting up and going to school.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hello my lovelies! This fic is a gift for @schuylergirls on Tumblr, so enjoy!! I have never written this pairing before, so your feedback is very much appreciated. Also I know it's common for Eliza to be based on Pippa, but this Eliza is based on Lexi, as she is "my" Eliza--the one I saw when I saw Hamilton. CW: homophobia, and homophobic slurs.

There were few things Eliza Schuyler hated more than getting up and going to school. She was a morning person, she always had been, but those mornings were the worst. Staring at the alarm clock, willing time to stop, so that she didn’t have to face the day. Finally moving from her nest of blankets, showering, getting dressed in her school uniform. Grabbing her violin case and she was out the door, Peggy on her heels.

It was better when Angelica went to school with them. When Angelica was around, nobody dared give Eliza any trouble. You did not fuck around with Angelica Schuyler or anyone in her family. But now ‘Gelica was in college, and Eliza had one year left before she would be free of high school. Peggy was in the eighth grade, so she and Eliza didn’t even share a school building, let alone a lunch period. She didn’t dare tell Peggy what was going on, anyway. Her fierce little sister would insist on intervening, and Eliza didn’t want to get her involved. It would hurt her pride, what little she had, to have her youngest sibling go to bat for her.

Eliza kept her eyes down as she entered the ivy covered building, and headed straight for the orchestra room. Though practice wasn’t until second period, she liked to get here early to warm up, and play for herself. While the orchestra usually did classical pieces, Eliza liked to, on her own time, play her violin as an Irish fiddle.

When she rounded the corner and peered into the room, she froze, her blood running cold. She wasn’t alone. Alexander was there. This would have been fine, Alexander was one of her dearest friends, but he wasn’t alone. She gripped the edge of the doorframe, her palms sweating. He sat on one of the straight-backed wooden chairs, a girl in his lap. Beautiful dark hair, full lips, smoky voice. Maria Reynolds, his latest romantic conquest. A girl that made Eliza’s head spin and her heart beat erratically. She could help but wonder what it would be like, to hold Maria that close, to be the one who pressed sweet kisses to her lips.

She flattened herself against the wall. She couldn’t go in there. Not now. She forced herself to take a deep breath and settle herself. She could never tell Maria how she felt, not ever. She trudged down the hallway, towards homeroom.

“Going somewhere, Eliza?”

Eliza’s heart sunk. She knew that voice all too well. Georgina King, the most popular girl in the grade, with her ever trusty sidekick Samantha Seabury. Both girls had long, silky hair down to their waist, diamond studs in their ears, matching knee socks and designer flats. They were utterly flawless. Eliza shrunk down deeper, holding her violin case closer.

“Just to homeroom,” she mumbled.

“This way?” Samantha raised an eyebrow.

Eliza nodded, utter a silent prayer that the girls would leave her alone. She just wanted to keep her head down, that was all she could ask for.

“I’m sorry,” Georgina said, her voice an octave higher than Samantha’s, “But dykes can’t walk this way.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Eliza said, her voice trembling.

“Really?” Samantha giggled. “That’s not what I heard.”

“I mean, it’s really surprising,” Georgina circled her as a vulture circles its prey, “Like anyone would ever want to touch a loser like you.”

“I really don’t know what you mean. I’d just like to get to homeroom.” Eliza knew her cheeks were burning red. Did they know about her feelings for Maria? Was it that obvious? “Please,” her voice cracked.  She was on the verge of tears, and she didn’t want to cry in front of them.

She walked a few steps forward. Just keep walking, she told herself. One step at a time. One breath at a time. Samantha and Georgina loomed in her vision as she got closer to them. Just a few more steps, and she’d be free. As she past Georgina, the girl hip-checked her so hard that Eliza went sprawling down.

“Oops,” Georgina said lightly. “Better watch where you’re going.”

“And better stay far away from us, bull dyke,” Samantha hissed. “We don’t want your kind around here.”

Eliza nodded mechanically, her eyes brimming over with tears. She walked a little faster, faster and faster until she was running down the hallway, openly crying.  Only 180 more days of this hell. Then she’d be free. She wondered if she could make it that long.

* * *

 

Eliza hated gym class. She wasn’t very coordinated to begin with, and being forced to run laps felt more like torture than anything else. Especially now. She kept her head down as she entered the locker room, but she could hear the whispers.

“I heard Eliza Schuyler kissed Theodosia Bartow behind the bleachers,” one girl whispered.

“How disgusting!” the other replied.

“Do you think she looks at us changing?”

“Probably. Pervert.”

Her stomach churned as the hateful words pierced her heart. She barely even knew Theodosia. Not that it mattered. She approached her locker, grabbing her gym clothes, and going to change in the restroom. They didn’t need to beat her up on the field. Their words cut deeper than any knife. Her heart ached, and depression felt like a fog that entrenched her and her mind.

There was a sound of footsteps in the bathroom, and Eliza stood up on the toilet, hoping whoever it was wouldn’t see her.

“She’s such a loser. It’s a wonder that Alexander Hamilton even puts up with her.”

“Right?” A laugh, long and cruel. “If she just acted normal, maybe people would actually like her.”

“You know what I heard?”

“What?”

“She was in a real, honest to God, psych ward. With the crazies.”

“That makes sense. She’s a total head case.”

“How does my hair look?”

“Flawless.”

“Awesome, let’s get out of here.”

The door slammed shut behind them, and Eliza sunk to the ground. She wasn’t the type to skip class, but there had to be another way. She emerged from the stall and took a long look at herself in the mirror. Eyes rimmed in red. Curls untamed, no mater what hair product she managed to put in.

“Fat pig,” she muttered.

She walked out into the gym and ignored the stares and giggles that followed. She tapped the PE teacher on the shoulder.

“Excuse me, sir, could I have a pass to the nurse?”

“What’s wrong?”

She lowered her gaze. “Time of the month,” she mumbled.

He wrote out the pass with an irritated sigh. She ran, not walked to the nurse’s office, heart pounding and invisible scars stinging.

* * *

 

She’d thought about it. Thought about what the world would be like without her. Given macabre dreams of what her funeral would be like. How easy it would be—just a childproof cap away from a centuries’ long nap. She had already tried once; those girls were right about one thing—she had spent a little time in the hospital after that.

It was not discussed at home. She had rendered her sisters silent. They had been the ones who had found her, passed out on the bathroom floor. There had been an uneasy dynamic since then, with Angelica and Peggy treating her like a breakable china doll, something that would shatter at the slightest provocation. She didn’t feel that delicate, not really. She felt like she was already broken, and no amount of repairing would make her right.

She hadn’t told anyone of her feelings for Maria. It was too shameful. She knew that her sisters would accept her for who she was, Alexander too, but Alexander could never know. He’d hate her forever, she was certain of it.

She opened up her violin case and pulled out her bow, rosining it. She could at least lose herself in music. And the orchestra room was abandoned after school; practice always took place in the mornings.

“Well, what do we have here?”

Eliza’s palms began to sweat. She forced herself to focus on the rosin, not on Georgina, who stood in front of her.

“Nothing,” Eliza said quietly.

Georgina seized the bow out of her hands. “You don’t belong here, dyke.”

Eliza reached for her bow, but Georgina was tall, taller than her, and held it just out of reach.

“Is that all you can come up with?” Eliza couldn’t believe the words were coming out of her mouth, but there she was, fighting back in the only way she knew how.

“What did you say to me, skank?” Georgina narrowed her eyes at Eliza.

“I just wonder why my sexuality is so threatening to you.”

“So you don’t deny it, then,” Georgina hissed.

Eliza took a breath. Reminded herself to be brave. Thought of her sisters. Of what had happened the last time she had given into hopelessness. “No,” she said, finally. “I don’t deny it.”

“How interesting.” Georgina, in a show of strength Eliza didn’t believe she had, snapped Eliza’s bow in half. “Oh, did I do that? I’m so sorry.” She tossed the pieces at Eliza. “That’s what happens when you dare question me, slut.” She rounded on her heels and departed.

As soon as Eliza was sure that Georgina was gone, she began to sob. She held the broken pieces of bow to her chest and wailed. Her violin was her everything. All the hope she held close to her heart.

She was so devastated she didn’t hear the footsteps, didn’t see the flash of red until it was too late.

“Hey,” Maria said softly. “You okay?”

Eliza sniffled and shook her head.

Maria reached into her backpack and pulled out a small packet of tissues. “What happened?”

“I can’t—my bow—I just—“

“Hey, hey, it’s okay.” Maria held out her hand. “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.” She gave Eliza a small smile, and Eliza felt her heart flutter. “I’m Maria. Maria Reynolds.”

“Alexander’s girlfriend,” Eliza mumbled.

Maria nodded. “You must be Eliza. Alexander talks about you all the time.”

“He does?”

“Of course. He thinks highly of you, you know.” Maria looked at her bow. “That wasn’t an accident, was it?”

Eliza shook her head.

“I’ve got your back,” Maria said.

“What?” Eliza wiped at her eyes.

“I’ve got your back. You’re not alone.”

“Thank you,” Eliza stumbled through her shock.

Maria took both of Eliza’s hands in her own. Eliza swore in that moment that she would pass out from skin to skin contact. Helpless. She was completely helpless.

“Eliza, I want you to remember one thing. No matter what. No matter what words are thrown your way, or however someone tries to break your spirit. Promise me.”

“I promise.”

“You are enough.” Maria’s crimson red lips were in a tight line.

“I am?”

“You are.”

Eliza looked up at Maria, meeting her brown eyes. And though she still 180 days left, though it felt like she was fighting an uphill battle, that she could never win, the words etched into her heart.

She would be enough. That could be enough.


End file.
